Looking for help with WAW

[mza8]

patpat and Lotus, thank you for your help. I did read both DB and DR.

Lotus, I did email W and told her about new job. I was never lazy. I worked very hard with my own company. I was just so depressed when my company went out of business. Couldn't even get off the couch for the first year. Second year I started to make some progress. Didn't realize I had depression so severe for those two years until recently when I talked with my current counselor.

My W is hurting from the outside stresses we have endured from the past two years. It makes me so sad. I wish I could help her. I've always been a fixer.

W is acting so strange. She was even willing to make some very poor financial decisions until I tried to talk some sense into her. I can't understand her thought process.

We had such great love for each other. We had just gone on vacation in Sept. and I thought we had a wonderful time. She later told me she didn't but I don't believe her...believe nothing of what they say and only 50% of what they do, right?

I've had a coaching session with Laurie (in addition to my own IC) which was very helpful. She gave me some very helpful tips.

I don't want to do anything to push my W further away. I think the idea of an email to update my W is a great idea but maybe I should wait a few more weeks first? I definitely don't talk about the past. I've stopped the begging, pleading, etc.

This has been my wake up call and I have taken this opportunity to make so many positive and permanent changes in my life. I can't imagine my life without my wonderful wife. She is my best friend.

I just wish that she would give me time to show her my changes are real and trust me again. I know that actions and not words make the difference. I more than willing to put in all of my efforts. I hope my W will see this and eventually join me in working on our marriage.

Thank you for your support. It helps more than you know. I'm sorry for all of us in these situations and wish nothing but the best outcome for everyone. Let's all keep hope alive and continue to try. Also be patient, which is the hardest part for me.

Lotus, I searched for Dia's thread but couldn't find it. I must not be very good with the search function. Do you have a link to the thread? Thank you.