Please understand that I was very thick-headed with regards to my x...I know that you may only hear things when you are ready to hear them.
but you have had a professional point out to you that this man is a SOCIOPATH. Have you looked it up? If he truly is, he is INCAPABLE of having any kind of relationship.
Get a good book to read while he has SCHEDULED visits with the baby. Write a letter to a friend, or call them. You don't need to have so many conversations. You don't have to be rude, but you don't have to be more than civil, either. It will help you. Having him send texts for you to "kiss the baby" is ridiculous. That is about keeping YOU reeled in. Tell him it's not necessary - the only communication should be ABOUT the baby - health issues, changes in schedule, things like that. He will have to work on his own relationship with her as she grows. Do you really stop everything you are doing when he texts and kiss her, saying its from her father?
Also, please stop reading his emails. Do you feel good about yourself when you do? Is it "moral?" Would you want anyone reading yours? You have all the information you ever need, enough to last you five lifetimes, about what kind of person he is. It is just keeping you stuck.
Be grateful for your baby. Think of your life, and hers. You are as addicted to him as he is to the substances (again, from someone who has been there and will be in "recovery" from the same thing for the rest of my life.)
