I picked up D17 and W from the airport yesterday. W was still very angry and could barely speak to me, much less look at me. We had about a 45 minute ride home. When both S13 and D17 tried to offer her the front seat, she refused (D17 rolled her eyes). W sat in the back in pouted, while D17 told us about her trip to california.
As soon s we got home, W left to walk one of the dogs, slamming the door on the way out. Again, both kids are wondering what is wrong. She was gone for a couple of hours, and then returned to pout in her room. I suggested that we watch a movie together, and had the kids ask her to join us, and she eventually did. Still, it was a very tense night.
Today, W seemed much calmer and asked me if I could sit down and talk with her. Part of me wanted to just avoid the conversation, but I'm worried about the tension escalating and how it gets to the kids. I don't want a repeat of two weeks ago, so I said we can talk now as long as it's away from the kids. We went into the basement.
W wanted to know what was next, and I said "what have you decided". She launched into a list of what she is angry about. Here are the coherent points: 1) she started with that I had offered to leave the house, but had not. I never offered that, I simply had said that I did not want a divorce WAR. 2) she hates being in the guest room. 3) I am now super-dad and it has created distance between her and the kids. 4) she is mad that I have not filed for D?!? 5) I don't care about her at all.
I was very calm, and just told her I understood but didn't agree. I stated my position on each point, not that it mattered. I told her that I did not want a D, that I thought we had stuff to work out since we had never done any real work on the M. However, I still thought that anymore things that directly harm the kids, like 2 weeks ago, could not continue.
She then said she wants us to sit down and tell the kids about what is going on. I said I agree, what does she want to tell them. She says she doesn't know. I told her that I would be there, but she will have to tell them her decision herself, and I won't lie to them especially since they already basically know what's going on.
There so much more, but this is already too long. We ended with her saying she'll get to work on the D papers (i think), and then saying she wishes these conversations could end better.
I asked her what I could do to help her. I had to steer a little bit, but we came up with a schedule: M and W nights will be for me with the kids, and T and T will be for her. Weekends are still up in the air. She had no other ideas...
Ok, how off track am I???!?!?
M:42|W:40|D:17|S:13|Bomb:10/23/09 Awoken's Current Thread
