Looking for my new normal

[Dia]

Hi, Bunny,

I'm not sure which part of things you wanted my input on?

Here's what jumps immediately to mind. There are things all of us do that we know don't work. We do them because of what they are SUPPOSED to do for us.

Speaking very directly about sex...

My guess is that you're having sex because it's SUPPOSED to make you feel loved. On a less grand scale, having a lot of sex with a lot of people means they really like you! (cue Sally Field) And who wouldn't want to be popular, to be really liked or to be loved?

There's an illusory high to it. Even while you're telling yourself how you're the belle of the ball, some part of you knows it's hollow. And the kicker is that you don't know any other way to be. It's supposed to work, so you do it. But it doesn't work. And you sort of knew it wasn't going to work when you did it. But maybe this time it WILL work. So you do it again. Rinse, repeat. And somehow, you also manage to convince yourself that the reason it doesn't work is your own fault. But it's still the only thing you know how to do, so you're confused and trapped.

I'm not sure if this is the cycle for you or not. A lot of people get trapped by it, and it's not always sex. It could be food, alcohol, drugs, gambling or any number of things.

It's a little like that nuke movie from the 80s. The only way to win is not to play.

Yeah, stop cold turkey and stay stopped for several months. Because even if 'it' isn't working in terms of feeling loved and appreciated, it's still screwing with your brain chemistry and those things take awhile to even out.

And no judgement at all implied here. Obviously, I wouldn't know what the cycle is like if I hadn't experienced it at some point.

Hopefully, this is where you wanted the input. If not, please point me in the appropriate direction.