One day at a time....

[pearlharbr]

Rocked, saw your post on H4U's thread and wanted to respond here so not to TJ

I might be crazy to think this so soon, but it really does appear as though my H is finished with OW.

Trust your gut, but verify. When BF said he wanted to reconcile and he was completely done with OW it was true for the most part. (I insisted on no contact and he did go see her to break things off and didn't tell me about it.) While I continue to check his email and phone history there has not been any contact since I sent his no contact letter in late April. I told him that I understood if it was difficult for him to let her go and he swore to me that it wasn't, he was done and didn't think about her anymore. I had a hard time believing him but think I've reached that point now. Seems like I'm the one having a hard time letting her go when I allow thoughts of them together to interrupt our life together. But I know that will pass with time.

So just saying that your H may not be going through OW withdrawl, not everyone does.

You're right, the work still needs to be done to figure out how he got to that place and what both of you can do to make the M stronger. IC, MC and continued reading will all help.

I recommend ATA so much because while he may be working on his own issues in IC, you need him to understand what you're going through right now too. That part can't wait until he's done with his own stuff, it's happening now and should be dealt with concurrently. You're handling things very well, but sometimes it just helps if he can get the information from an outside source because it lends more credibility.