Moving on with my life!

[Startingover2]

You've got to get to where you respect yourself enough to let go of people who don't value or respect you. And you've got to get to where you don't care what he thinks...about anything! He doesn't value or respect you, at least right now. He wouldn't be doing what he's doing if he did. And if anybody else knew that you were sitting at home, would it bother you? Then why should it bother you for him to know it? Stop caring what he thinks...about anything. You don't have any control over that anyway, so don't bother. You do, however, have complete control over your own thoughts, feelings, and actions. So, exercise the control that you DO have.

I hope you have a better day.

Absolutely true! I am trying to let go of the 'slow and steady' bs as that is all it was...BS! He doesn't respect me, never has so I need to respect myself.

I just want to reiterate the importance of thinking about what is "good" for you and set those boundaries with exh.
I understand you have feelings for him. I understand that you have a child together. Setting goals/boundaries for yourself will allow you to get to where you feel comfortable with yourself instead of feeling uncomfortable and trying to figure things out.

I don't think there is ever figuring things out with exh. Number one is he is still abusing substances and that will alter his thinking until he gets some real help...doesn't look like he wants it does it? Hes lost 2 families now. You would think that would be enough.