Pls help--confused and fearful

[Day by Day]

Just have to post here so I don't do something I shouldn't... I'm wanting to contact WAH and ask him not to treat me with hostility and see if we can start discussing the D without L first. I haven't paid the mortgage yet because he didn't give me any money. I was thinking I should give him a heads up that I haven't paid yet. ??? Maybe I'll be setting myself up for more hurt, maybe getting to discuss this civilly is needed?

I don't want to go through a hostile divorce.