ignore her, let her go, she's too deep in that WAW fog for anything you say or do to have any effect, she has admitted that she is still communicating with him, all you can do is maintain boundaries for what she can/can't do with regards to you, she however is free to do whatever she wants.
I gave you an outline of what's going on with her and what you would need to do to get her to wake up if that's even possible at this point. You can do that or just entirely drop the rope, detach, don't communicate with her, if she wants to talk, make it just about the kids, anything else just tell her you aren't interested in talking to her anymore. Stop reacting angrily and emotionally, when you do that you show that you still have emotions for her, let go and move on, even if it's just acting - just do it.
