True, true. We've had a lot of crap thrown at us, but we're doing pretty well considering.
Some days are harder than others. Today I'm listening to my 'sad songs' playlist full of Van Morrison and Vince Gill and trying not to think about H skiing today (we always skied on Sundays) and knowing he's probably with OW on our favorite runs. But I have my kids this weekend and we've been having some fun watching old movies like Die Hard. They ditched me on NYE and it wasn't any fun bringing in the new year by myself, but things were better in the morning (THEY ALWAYS ARE!). I've been repainting my kitchen cabinets this weekend. H would laugh because this is the fourth paint job and he was always so patient with my fickleness over colors. I chose a creamy white this time that should be neutral enough to accomodate my mood.
I took a big step forward yesterday when I called the cc companies that my H hasn't been paying on. The bills were in my name b/c I had the credit established when we got married, so I'm legally responsible for the charges. H was over 3 months behind on them and while he kept assuring me he'd take care of them, he hasn't. So, I picked up the phone yesterday and made payment arrangements with them. Then I emailed and texted H to let him know I'd set up pymts and he could pay me instead. I said matter of factly, let me know know when and what you can pay, and he wrote right back that he could pay me on the 15th.
I wonder what is going through his head (and this is where I falter sometimes in GAL). Does he feel bad about not owning up to his responsibilities, with the bills, or contacting his stepkids that he's known for 10 years? Does he wish things were different, does he see anyway out of his sitch with OW? Who knows and I try not to obsess about this stuff.
As I typed that paragraph, Darius Rucker's song "Don't Think I Don't Think About It" came on. Haha. It goes... "don't think I don't think about it, don't think I don't have regrets, don't think you don't get to me...". Good song!
