New Year's Eve my H showed up as planned. He was acting uncomfortable so I asked him if he was freaking out (about moving back in). He said he was but that he didn't want to talk about it. Eventually he seemed to relax some. We went out and had a nice evening. The next morning, my H gets up and seems anxious. Tells me he left some laundry in his washing machine at his apartment so he has to go and put it in the dryer. I disappointed thinking that we would either be spending the day together or he would be moving things over. Nope. He ran and hid. We talked on the phone later but that didn't really go well. We agreed he would come over the following morning. We talked for hours but resolved nothing. He says he loves and he can't imagine his life without me but he isn't 100% committed to moving back in. He says he doesn't want to lose the solitude he has when he goes to his apartment. I told him that he needs to find ways to find the solitude he needs when he is here. He claims it won't be the same.
My H said his less freaked out but yet he is still stuck. Can't move forward...can't move back. He wants to keep me in limbo hell with him and I'm just not sure I can do that anymore. I feel like if I just continue to give him more time, he will just continue to find more excuses. I feel like if I give him more time, I'm not following through.
When he left yesterday, he said he was going to go and process everything that was said and that he was going to call me today. I tried to let him know that I was done but I don't think he believes me.
There is a part of me that wants to believe that if I give him more time, he will come to his senses. Then there is the other part of me that thinks he will continue to do this as long as I let him and the only way out is if I show "tough love".
Snodderly, I know I have not been handling the situation the way that you recommended. I wish I could but I just don't have it in me to accept everything on his terms anymore. You have seen so many of these situations. Is there ever a time when "tough love" works?
We have a MC session scheduled this week. My H suggested we go and see what the C has to say. I told my H no, that it wouldn't change anything. Now I am wondering if we should go. My other option is just to start moving forward with my life without him. I am not sure what to do.
