Trying to keep hope alive

[scared n alone]

I have been off for a while, but I have a question. I have been working daily on detachment. My head knows that's what I am doing, my heart is a little behind.

ok....heere is my question.....
H gets them on Tues and Fri (overnight). For the past 9 weeks, The schedule for the kids is I get them from school at 310 and he gets to my house at 340. He leaves work early on those days to get them even at 340. I also have a Kgn that gets out at 1115.

This week, he filed for custody, because as soon as I won't give him a random Sun he gets mad and so he filed. I want to tell him from now on, if those are his days, he will be responsible for getting the kids after school on those two days. Can I do that?

We had a conversation on the phone this past week and he spent 30 min telling me why he was so unhappy over the past 3 years. I wish he could have been such a good communicator then. He proceeded to tell me I was a horrible wife...alll i did was laundry, I was a looser without a job. (we have three kids!) I think he was trying to convince himself as much as me. He must have told me 5 times "I'm not coming home". It hurts. The holidays were awful.

What I dont understand is why does he look like crap when he is out? If this is so easy, why???

There is also been talk that people think he is gay. I can't say I don't believe it. he is SOOOOO selfish and cares SOOO much about how he looks. He maintains a beach body all year, wears fancy necklaces, ripped jeans, cowboy boots, tight tshirts. We did start dating at 16 so he didn't have an opportunity to experiment. Sex was OK, but it was all I knew. He was always mad that I would be more adventurous so maybe not. I don't know. I don't know if that would be harder or easier.