Please forgive the cynicism of so many of the people on this board. They have all been lied to, some for years. That doesn't mean that their situation is your situation.
Lotus,
With all due respect, I don't need you to ask for forgiveness for me and my opinions and recommendations. I base them strictly on my studying of thousands of affairs over the past six years, not on my own situation (for the record, my wife and I are reconciled. She lied to me for two months during her affair, at which time I re-confronted her and she was honest from that point forward [and yes, I checked]). It does no good for Soldier to stick his head in the sand.
I prefer the Ronald Reagan position of "Trust -- but verify."
I've stuck my ass out probably 150-200 times on this board in calling them as I see them, and to my knowledge I've only been wrong about it ONCE (and I'm still not sure about that one).
Please forgive the cynicism of so many of the people on this board. They have all been lied to, some for years. That doesn't mean that their situation is your situation.
Lotus,
With all due respect, I don't need you to ask for forgiveness for me and my opinions and recommendations. I base them strictly on my studying of thousands of affairs over the past six years, not on my own situation (for the record, my wife and I are reconciled. She lied to me for two months during her affair, at which time I re-confronted her and she was honest from that point forward [and yes, I checked]). It does no good for Soldier to stick his head in the sand.
I prefer the Ronald Reagan position of "Trust -- but verify."
I've stuck my ass out probably 150-200 times on this board in calling them as I see them, and to my knowledge I've only been wrong about it ONCE (and I'm still not sure about that one).
But of course, I could be wrong here.
Puppy
I hope you are wrong Puppy, but I don't think you are.
I will try, Gnosis, but I have a very busy day and I've really been trying to cut back on my time on here (for several reasons), and I really don't have time to catch up on a 9-page thread, and to offer my advice doing anything LESS than that, really wouldn't be fair to the guy.
The only professional counselors available through this website are the paid staff of Michele Weiner Davis, the Divorcebuster's counselors. They do not post on the website. The posters on this website are all amateurs with personal experience with infidelity. If you have professional credentials, Puppy, please post them. And you would probably not be going by an alias. Also, if you were posting professionally, and you told someone, unsupported by evidence, that their spouse was lying to them, you could be sued for saying that. What peer reviewed thousands of cases do you have to support your "data"? You are expressing your personal opinion as an anonymous person, don't try to make it something more than it is. I am doing the same.
For the record, I hope I am too. I ALWAYS hope I am. I DETEST affairs, Puppy
Ditto. I even detest the word "affair". AND the word "cheating". That word belongs in cheesy Country Western songs and third grade spelling tests only.
I use the only appropriate word; Betrayal!
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac