Keep the positive thoughts going. Bad ones make the mind slide into very murky mucky places.
Your stepchildren are adults. Your stepchildren now come from two divorced families. They all have their own stuff to work out.
In my case, family.. the former spouse's family.. were very important to me. However, I told them I understood how important family was and that I wasn't going to walk on anyone's toes. It was hard but I left the door open to see what if anything would happen.
A year down the road, their brother/son has blown them off although he insisted I have no part in their lives. They made their own choices. Now Thanksgiving and Christmas include all the nieces and nephews and I'll always be their aunt.
G'Man. You are and were their parent during formative years. That will never be taken away. Love and acceptance ... no need to grovel. If it's there, it will be there when the dust settles. I know I'm a great friend.. but when someone I was sorta close to went through a very weird divorce, I didn't know how to be there for her. No one is perfect. Everyone tries their best with what they have.
No need to judge, feel hurt, discarded or lost. Not only is this a great time of growth for you, but for those around you.
Respect the stepdaughter's wishes and don't contact her, period. Contact the others only if and when they contact you. They will know how you're doing through your son. They care but their own struggles are coming first. Divorce, regardless of the age of the children, has a terrible ripple effect.
