When she arrived home Fri. I left 2 things not finished to test her reaction. A package came and I left it on the front porch and I left a baby gate open leading to our laundry room(S was asleep for the night. She blasted me on both but did not say anything about the rest of the house, which was spotless.(180)
About noon on Sat she said she didn't know if she said anything but she thanked me for having things done around the house. (this is a small step to get her more positive)
She wrote me a letter while I was cooking dinner. She stated:
Dear Will,
I'm not sure where to start, but am compelled to write this. Since getting home I've come to realize something, I've been feeling so hurt for so long and desperate for something different. A big part of my actions, words, motivation the last few weeks has been to inflict that type of pain on you. By doing that I was not choosing to love. At the time I didn't know what else to do. My expressing this doesn't mean that this hurt is healed or gone. I think it will take time and actions to heal. I'm sorry for some of the choices I've made. I appreciate and understand that we both need to have some growth individually. I also think that if remaining together is on the table that we need to grow our relationship as well. You seem to have a paradigm shift. I don't know what caused it and I guess it really doesn't matter. I can only hopes it lasts. If you make the arrangements, I will go with you to the forgiveness post-session. I am sorry I got impatient with you earlier. I realize that patience is not a strength of mine in certain situations. And in other areas I feel that I have been more than patient. Being encouraging doesn't come naturally to me. Its an area that I am working on and improving. Right or not I still care about you and would like to move past this awful rut we've gotten into. I appreciate you reading this and have enjoyed watching your interactions with S3 today. Love W
I know that this is another test and only words. At the same time the action of hand writing a letter is something different.
I have one main concern: I'm sorry for some of the choices I've made. This stands out for me and screams possible OM. She started a Facebook account a few months ago. Up until now I would have said the possibilities were low of this but I feel differently now. Can't search cell phone records and we don't have texting on our phones. I have heard about keylogger but I know reading other threads that the experts say if their is an OP then it's harder to go forward.
Thanks again for the advice.
She decided to come back to the MB. Didn't say anything just came back.
"The first step in the acquisition of wisdom is silence, the second listening, the third memory, the fourth practice, the fifth teaching others." Solomon Ibn Gabriol
