As you know, I struggle with the friends thing too. I had to roll my eyes when your h said about you being impatient. Was that recently or a while ago? Wow, if you were impatient I would be really interested to hear his definition of patience - 1 year, 5 years to be friends. Sorry, perhaps that isn't helpful.
My h became job obsessed and is again with his new job. I wish more people would realise that work/ life balance. I read somewhere that if you were on your deathbed it is unlikely that your last thought would be 'I am so glad that I did all those extra hours in the office'. Imo that puts it in perspective, but I wouldn't point it out to h lol!
Happy New Year, as you said to me make this year about you.
