Phew Goldey. You have had a rough time of it. But my first thoughts are what amazing strength you have in the eyes of all this ...
I post mostly about my sitch now, but many know this is not my first time around the marriage block. What most don't know is that my first XH was very abusive. Thankfully, I had some really good friends who spotted the signs, and I got out of it. The courts were different then, granting me sole custody of D23 and D25 w/ no visitation to him. (It didn't help that the cops hated him...well it did help me. Just not him )
Anyway, I am going to follow your sitch now that you are on this board, and offer any words of wisdom and, since I am a paralegal, any resources (legally I cannot offer advice, but I am sure as shiznit good at researching where to get it), support, drinks (the virtual kind, my real brain cannot take the hangovers anymore...), share my smokes (my New Years Res is NOT to quit. Maybe then I actually will), support, and all the hugs you need.
Chin up. Look at this as the first day of the new chapter of a better and healthier life.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
)