I wanted to drop by and wish you a Merry Christams to you and your two little guys. You have described them so much that I can almost see them in my mind. I am really praying that 2010 is going to make a huge difference in your life.....for the better, I might add. You deserve it and you have dealt with a lot of pain this past year, but overcame like a trooper. I am proud of you and know these others are too.
So...what are your plans for New Years Eve?
Merry Xmas "Mom"!
I really appreciate all your encouragment and support. As well as everyone else's here. I know I couldn't have gotten as far as I did in 2009 without my friends and family.
Since the custody/support hearings, not much to report...
The hearing was on Tues the 15th where it was worked out where she would have the boys on Weds & Thurs and alternating weekends and we agreed the weekend coming up with be hers and we would alternate from there. She took the boys on Weds, the 16th but on Thurs, when I picked up my 7 year old from school, he mentioned the annual Xmas roller skating party was that nite. It was something that we had been going together since he was 3. I was a little sad, but just said to him that I hoped he has a good time.
He said he thought I was going. I told him that tonite was his nite with mommy and I wasn't invited. He said that he was inviting me since mommy never roller skated with him or his brother whenever we went. All she did was sit and talk to her dad and friends. I just told him that he would have to talk to mommy about that.
When she showed up with my 3 year old to pick him up, he asked if Daddy could come. My 3 year old started then chanting "Please, can daddy come... please!" as soon as he heard his brother ask. I was standing there and she just said it was up to me. I told her that I would go like I go every year if it was ok with her. I could tell she was mad, but just said "you know where it is, I'll meet you there....." and took off as soon as my 7 year old was in her car.
I got there and the boys and I had a blast roller skating. My 7 year old said he was really glad that I came as all mommy did was sit and talk with her dad and friends. When we were waiting for santa to hand out gifts, she sat down next to us and started complaing about how I put her on the spot to make her look like the bad guy.
I told her she did the same to me, but the difference was that the way I responded was with the truth. If she had a problem with me coming, she should have said something.
Anyway, at the end of the nite, my 3 year old said he wanted to come home with me (it was Thurs so it was her nite), but my 7 year old said he still wanted to see mommy (he's a momma's boy and has only seen her 1 day in almost a week). When he saw his brother get into my truck, he started crying saying he wanted to go stay with his brother. I just looked at him and was about to give him a hug when his mother whispered, let's just go into his ear. He then got mad and said fine and stomped off into her car. She took off before I could give him a hug.
So, that Thurs nite, she had the 7 year old and I had the 3 year old, when she was suppose to have both. I didn't care as I got to at least spend time with my boys..... although it bothers me how little desire she has to spend with my 3 year old.
On Friday AM when I saw my 7 year old he was very excited as he was suppose to go to a swimming b'day party for his friend at school on Sunday. When I picked him up after school he was all down as his friend said his mom called and said he wasn't coming. He was all sad and mad as his mom told him that he was going and felt that she lied to him.
I had the boys that Fri and Sat nite (even though it was her weekend) so he wound up calling her at nite and asked her why he wasn't going. She said that she wanted to do something that everyone could do and it wouldn't be fair to his brother since he would be bored. He said that Daddy would take him but she said no. He was upset and hung up. I just gave him a hug and told him I was sorry.
Sat the boys and I went to another xmas party where they gave santa the letters they wrote for him. It was really a lot of fun. So they stayed with me that nite as well (so the first Fri, Sat and Sun rotation she had, I had them for Fri and Sat...)
That Sun AM, she came to pick them up, my 3 year old ran to the door and told her that he wanted to stay home with dad. I was very surprised when she said yes. My 7 year old went with her (again, the momma's boy) but he had thought that since his brother wasn't going, that she would take him to the swimming party.
I had a blast with my 3 year old although I felt bad about not having them both. We played shoveled the driveway and then one of my neighbors was using his front end loader to dig out people's driveway that plowed in. My 3 year old loves construction trucks so we walked down to watch. My neighbor saw us and offered to let him ride/drive. He was really excited as he drove the front end loader back to our house (with a "little" help from my neighbor). On the way back, he scooped up a big load of snow and dumped it near our house. He was thrilled. He couldn't stop talking about it.
Then we saw some kids playing down the street so we went down there. The kids were twice his age, but played with him very nicely. They made snow forts and let my 3 year old throw snow balls at them without getting any thrown back at them. It really amazed me how kids respected how much younger he was... unless it was because I was there...
Either way, he had a blast and we went home for lunch and a nap.
After the nap, we went to my friend's house to watch the football game. On the way back, we called his brother to say goodnite. He was all excited when I he told him about his day. I felt bad for his brother when he said mommy took him shopping then he stayed in all day watching movies/videos.... It was cold out but nice enough to go out an play..... she goes out to play flag football with her friends but can't with our 7 year old?!?!!? Plus he didn't go to his swim party because he said he was "tired".......
So I had my 3 year old that Sun nite and got both boys back on Mon and Tues nite.
Last nite, when she came to pick up the boys, my 3 year old asked again about staying with me. This time, she said no as they were going to do Xmas today. As soon as he heard that, he got all excited about going to get his presents. It hurt a little, but he is a 3 year old....
I talked with them both last nite before they went to bed. I get them both back tonite.
She's suppose to have them New Years weekend according to our agreement so I've been trying to figure out what to do. I was going to do something with my friend up in NY but she has her kids. So I may wind up going skiiing with some of my friends.... they asked about me bringing the boys (they enjoy my boys) but I told them that she had them. I would like to take them though so we shall see.... Still working on plans for New Years Eve though.....
2009 was a real charachter building year for all of us so let's hope 2010 is better for all of us!
Me 41 WAW 36 S 3&7 M 10 yrs W files D 1/9/09 W moves out 4/18 Lost job 6/15 New job 7/27 Disc PA 8/10 (started Nov 2008!) Confronted 8/11 Admits PA & appologies for hurt 9/11 Lost Job 11/13
Just catching up on journaling since "Mom" asked :-)
I picked up the boys Xmas eve - they were excited as she had bought them a Wii so they were playing it all day. They were excited to come home though as they knew it was Xmas the next day.
When we got home, we had hot chocolate as we watched Frosty and Frosty Returns before going to bed. Boys woke up the next morning and we opened presents. Before they started, I had them call her to wish her Merry Xmas. She seemed really surprised but seemed to really appreciate that we did that.
Of course they were very excited as they opened their presents. It was a little weird as it was the first Xmas since she left. It was still good.
My 7 year old had made a present for me at school - it was Xmas tree ornament with his hand print on it. He told he that he had made it at school and wanted to give it to me since he knew I didn't have any presents under the tree. It brought a tear to my eye when he did it and I asked if he didn't want to give it to his mother instead and he said no he really wanted me to have it since he knows that we will use it every year together when we decorate our tree (seems like he was still hurt that she decorated the tree without them).
Then we had a brunch and we drove out to my mom's for Xmas. We were there for a several hours and the kids had a lot of fun as my cousin that that 7 year old really likes showed up with his kids so it was really nice watching the kids play together.
We didn't get home till late on Xmas. So on Sat we just stayed home and the kids played with their new presents. We spent most of the day working with Lego as they both got lego kits (Star Wars and Construction) so we put the models together.
On Sun we went to the park so my 7 year old could try out his Razor scooter (he had one at her place, but she wouldn't let him bring it home to use so he hadn't been able to use it for some time).
On Monday it was crazy cold and windy so we spent the day inside playing with their Xmas toys.
On Tuesday, we wound up going to the library to get library cards. My 3 year old was really excited as the librarian said he could only get one if he could write his name. He had just learned how so he said yes and did a great job printing his name on his new card.
On Weds we wound up going skiing. It was very cool as it was their first ski trip. My 7 year old really picked it up quickly. My 3 year old had fun skiing with me. We all managed to get on and off the ski lift without any serious injuries so that was a major plus!
She took them on Weds nite and I went out to dinner and drinks with my cousin. I didn't get back til 3:00 AM so I was really tired when she dropped them back at 7:30 AM.
Her mom picked them up from me. I wound up having dinner and straightened up the house. They called me at 8:30 to tell me that she was letting them stay up late to watch the ball drop. I wished them a Happy New Year and wound up going out to a local bar to listen to a band.
It was pretty dead at the bar as there was only about 100 people there, most of them were in the early 20's. So there were some nice "sites" to see but it made me feel really old. It was a good band and I had a pretty good time. I got back home around 1:30 AM.
I spent most of the day watching the bowl games. I called my boys at 8:30 PM and they had spent most of the day just playing Wii.
I'm gonna grab and early dinner/drinks with Tomato tomorrow and I'm hoping to get my boys back early on Sun so we can watch the football games together so we shall see.
So things are still moving towards our separate lives... it's not what I want, but it's what is meant to be.....
FIDO
Me 41 WAW 36 S 3&7 M 10 yrs W files D 1/9/09 W moves out 4/18 Lost job 6/15 New job 7/27 Disc PA 8/10 (started Nov 2008!) Confronted 8/11 Admits PA & appologies for hurt 9/11 Lost Job 11/13
I think your age of single D men are amoung a growing population. Maybe you just didn't hit the right place. Anyway, I hope you have a very happy new year and that your life will take a radical change toward the better. Has to be better than last year!
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Thank you all for all the well wishes. I hope the same for everyone here as well. 2009 was certainly a challenging year for many of us.
Thanks again for everyone's support!
Me 41 WAW 36 S 3&7 M 10 yrs W files D 1/9/09 W moves out 4/18 Lost job 6/15 New job 7/27 Disc PA 8/10 (started Nov 2008!) Confronted 8/11 Admits PA & appologies for hurt 9/11 Lost Job 11/13
I think your age of single D men are amoung a growing population.
I think that is the saddest part of it all - it really seems like a recurring theme looking at the demographics of the people on this board - whether it is men or women, this is becoming a very common practice of WAS.......
FIDO!
Me 41 WAW 36 S 3&7 M 10 yrs W files D 1/9/09 W moves out 4/18 Lost job 6/15 New job 7/27 Disc PA 8/10 (started Nov 2008!) Confronted 8/11 Admits PA & appologies for hurt 9/11 Lost Job 11/13
I think your age of single D men are amoung a growing population.
I think that is the saddest part of it all - it really seems like a recurring theme looking at the demographics of the people on this board - whether it is men or women, this is becoming a very common practice of WAS.......
FIDO!
Good to hear from you CIPA.
I've actually had this discussion with Thinker that the overwhelming majority of "couples" involved here are ones where the H is around 39-42 and the W is 36-39. Too many in that age range for it to be coincidence.
