WAW in affair. Help!

[Norm914]

Thanks for responding, Puppy. I really appreciated it.

I haven’t ruled anything out. As you stated early in this thread, I don’t have to solve this problem tomorrow. What have I learned thus far is that the more I detach, the more clear-headed I become, and the more calculating. The “old” Norm would never have been so cool when W confronted. I didn’t blurt out whom I thought she was having an affair with. I didn’t produce the phone bills or text messaging. Again, I probably haven’t been perfect, but far better than I would have been without the help of people like you and Huizenga.

And, I think you’re right – she is crying out for help.

You make a really good point about W confronting me, not the other way around. Hadn’t thought of it that way, which is why I’m here – to get different points of view.

I’m going to have to get a lot tougher. I’m a softie. I don’t want to hurt her. But I know that she is going to have to take responsibility for what she is doing, and that is going to hurt. Her choice, her consequences. I’m not dithering at this point. Just thinking, weighing options, listening to advice, and praying.

Unfortunately, at this point, W and OM know I’m suspicious, and are probably wondering how much I really know. I’m guessing they will either cool it for a while or at the very least be very careful.

That said, I’ve changed one tactic. I’m not as friendly at the gym. I don’t give cold, hard, stares. But I do look at them more – expressionless. If I look angry, they know what to think and do. If I look hurt, they know what to think and do. But right now, they don’t know what I’m thinking or why. They just know I’m not stupid. And that turns up the heat.