Thanks to Kara, I have been shoe shopping and loving it I may add...Found a pair of you know what pumps, black, 4 inches high which makes me stand at 6'2 - Now I need an outfit to go around my shoes...I am loving life today and my plan is to go out tonight and enjoy it to the fullest!
Love it, Love it, Love it!
Ditto, Ditto, Ditto!
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
What kind of father cuts off all finances to their kids? Happy Friggen New Year. I hate 2010 already.
1) Go. To. Court! 2) Hey, that was my line earlier! 3) So did I, earlier today. My friends here got me out of that in a hurry! I have one friend and two relatives who died in '09 and weren't as blessed as we are to see 2010. Make it your year!
(and send me a picture of you in that outfit & pumps)
Happy New Year.
Last edited by Gardener; 01/02/1012:40 AM.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
I'm glad your son is home safe. And please take the legal steps you need to make your H man up and take care of his kids. His actions are completely unacceptable!
And I'm jealous- when I wear 4 inch pumps, I'm still kinda short- they only get me up to 5'5...
Nothing like a great pair of shoes to let a woman know she still has it.
Plus I try to always do my part to contribute to the economy lol...
I found a great dress & had a great pair of shoes...After Church I spent the rest of the evening visiting almost every dive place from one end of town to the other - I was the DD and didn't get home until 5am - Little one was up 3 hours later and I was beat but no hangover since I have vowed not to drink this year...No need to add alcoholism to an already volatile situation.
I was never happier to see a year end either...I wish you nothing but the very best in the year to come!
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
To all of you who came by earlier - I send my utmost thanks to each of you...
I dealt with my 14 year old (going on 19 year old) by being strong and letting him know there was no playing anymore...
Whether he likes it or not I am in charge and it will be my way period. There will be no pushing me around anymore because he doesn't like the situation we are in...
I let him know how it made me feel, let him know what the boundaries were from now on and also what the consequences were if he didn't respect the boundaries I laid out...
Something must have gotten in there because he was home 2 hours before curfew in a much better mood then when he left.
Let him know there is no playing me against his Dad...His Dad is in no position to take care of him so he needed to get that out of his head asap - No way as long as I am breathing is he going to live there unless a court orders me to do it.
As for the money issue...
After a good cry, some raging & a mini pity-party, I took as much action as I could on a holiday. I let his Mom know what he had done this time...
I went over to the storage unit to see if I could find my older sons birth certificate (that is what is holding up child support)...
Found mine, H and little ones but couldn't find the one I was looking for.
Also found some stuff H had broke when he had packed some things back in July...Nothing major but still.
Left a message for my lawyer and will be in there first thing Monday morning...
Abandonment isn't illegal in my state - It is a form of child abuse but not grounds for anything else - Cutting all financial ties - That is illegal and grounds for jail.
Do I feel bad about it?
Absolutely not (for my kids yes)...I will do whatever I need to do in order to take care of my kids.
I have taken his crap from day one with as much Grace and Love that I can muster up...
I make an effort each and every single day not to hate him...
I make an effort each and every single day to forgive him...
I can make excuses for his treatment of me and willingly take the 2x4's that come with it...
What I cannot do is sit by and allow him to continuously mistreat our boys...
Don't want to be there mentally, physically or emotionally? That is on him and something I know he will regret in the future...
Don't want to be there for them financially? To bad - That is on me to take care of and if it means a few days in jail then so be it...
Be angry, hate me with every breath you take, blame me for every failure in your life, file for divorce...
I as an adult will move forward eventually...
Eff with my boys and I don't care who you are, I will take you down...
So the gloves have come off and I decided to bypass H all together...
I thought about sending an email like I did last week and I took it as a sign when neither Puppy nor Coach responded with words I may have needed to say to H.
I will no longer spar with him verbally...
Everything from this day forward will be done and documented by my lawyer.
(((((Hugs)))))
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
To funny...I used to hate being tall...I hated it so much I would slouch over every second I got. (surprised I can still stand up straight all these years later)
I still did it with H because barefoot I was 2 inches taller then him...
I always wanted to be short and dainty - Like a pixie...
There is nothing dainty nor pixie like when you are 5'10 lol!
In just the last year I have begun to appreciate all that God has given me and that includes my height...
So now I stand taller then I ever did and no longer wear flats when I go out...
I love heels and while at work I normally wear flipflops year round but now I am embracing my height and adding to it lol.
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
To all of you who came by earlier - I send my utmost thanks to each of you...
I dealt with my 14 year old (going on 19 year old) by being strong and letting him know there was no playing anymore...
Whether he likes it or not I am in charge and it will be my way period. There will be no pushing me around anymore because he doesn't like the situation we are in...
I let him know how it made me feel, let him know what the boundaries were from now on and also what the consequences were if he didn't respect the boundaries I laid out...
Something must have gotten in there because he was home 2 hours before curfew in a much better mood then when he left.
Let him know there is no playing me against his Dad...His Dad is in no position to take care of him so he needed to get that out of his head asap - No way as long as I am breathing is he going to live there unless a court orders me to do it.
As for the money issue...
After a good cry, some raging & a mini pity-party, I took as much action as I could on a holiday. I let his Mom know what he had done this time...
I went over to the storage unit to see if I could find my older sons birth certificate (that is what is holding up child support)...
Found mine, H and little ones but couldn't find the one I was looking for.
Also found some stuff H had broke when he had packed some things back in July...Nothing major but still.
Left a message for my lawyer and will be in there first thing Monday morning...
Abandonment isn't illegal in my state - It is a form of child abuse but not grounds for anything else - Cutting all financial ties - That is illegal and grounds for jail.
Do I feel bad about it?
Absolutely not (for my kids yes)...I will do whatever I need to do in order to take care of my kids.
I have taken his crap from day one with as much Grace and Love that I can muster up...
I make an effort each and every single day not to hate him...
I make an effort each and every single day to forgive him...
I can make excuses for his treatment of me and willingly take the 2x4's that come with it...
What I cannot do is sit by and allow him to continuously mistreat our boys...
Don't want to be there mentally, physically or emotionally? That is on him and something I know he will regret in the future...
Don't want to be there for them financially? To bad - That is on me to take care of and if it means a few days in jail then so be it...
Be angry, hate me with every breath you take, blame me for every failure in your life, file for divorce...
I as an adult will move forward eventually...
Eff with my boys and I don't care who you are, I will take you down...
So the gloves have come off and I decided to bypass H all together...
I thought about sending an email like I did last week and I took it as a sign when neither Puppy nor Coach responded with words I may have needed to say to H.
I will no longer spar with him verbally...
Everything from this day forward will be done and documented by my lawyer.
(((((Hugs)))))
Perhaps the strongest, gutsiest post I've ever read you (or maybe anyone else) post on this board! I am in awe of your (continued) transformation. And without compromising your beliefs, decency, forgiveness and grace! Brava, woman. I am proud to know ya. Have been for months, actually, but, but Tonight...!
And see son's response? At that age they want, crave, parental strengthm limits and expectations, though they'd never admit it! Home two hours before curfew: ha!
You are raising a man. Din't let H screw that up because he'll just clone a self-centered, immature boy like himself. Go, Mama Bear! Go kick-a$$ woman! Go Serenity!!
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
I think your S will have a greater appreciation and respect for you now. It is a difficult situation for him to deal with. Has he had any counselling or spoken to your pastor or anyone about what he is going through? As Gardener says, you are rasing a man. This is an important time for him and he will learn many valuable lessons.
I hope for the sake of your H's realtionship with his boys that he gets it together.
My friend, I thank you... I am still amazed that through it all, I am still standing... I am still amazed I don't hate him with every fiber of my being... I am also amazed at how low he will sink to finance his "new life". I feel sick today... Sick with the knowledge that he has taken everything "worldly" from me... No car, no house, self-respect is minimal, self-esteem is lower then ever, now even the finances I once counted on are gone. I don't understand what is happening and if I stop, I realize I can't quite breathe... I feel like I am suffocating and don't know how to get any air. I keep telling myself, I can't quit but it is getting harder and harder to get up and face another day.
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
God has already worked out everything for you. We all have to remember that. What the devil meant for bad, God meant for good. You can't see the end of this but He is preparing you for a blessing that you can't even dream of. Every time I have gone through a big test, I look back and then see what God has really gotten me through and where I end up after the test. It is always something better than I could've imagined. The great thing about it is that God tests us like this sometimes to remind us of how great and awesome He is. God loves you and he has your back. When you can't stand or feel like you are suffocating, just be still and remember that God is the GREAT I AM. Just stand on Him when you can't move or don't know which way to turn.
(((Hugs)))
Me: 28 H: 32 1st marriage 4 both 1 1/2 year married 2gether for 9 1S: 6months 1stepson: 2yo
