Hi everyone. I just wanted to post an update on my sitch, and maybe (hopefully) get some more advice/support. I will post a link to my original post below, but I can provide a quick recap here.
Wife and I got together in December of '04. We met at work. We got lived together at my parents house, an apartment she shared with two roommates, her sisters house, and two houses we rented ourselves. We got married on May 27, 2007 and bought our first house in November of 2008. My wife is currently 22 and I am 28. We have no kids together. We had our ups and downs, nothing ever very serious, we never even broke up once when we were dating or spent more than three days apart when she went on vacation with one of her friends. I have always had an issue with anger, I would get angry at my wife and yell at her, I guess you could call it verbal abuse. There was other things she did not like, such as the fact that I didn't like to go out with her and her friends enough, so she did go out alone a lot. Our sex life also suffered in the past year, I can't quite explain why but we drifted very far apart. In October she told me she was moving out because we needed time apart. She has been living with one of her friends since.
I can't really explain why I stopped being the loving husband I was toward my wife. Why we just because roommates instead of husband and wife. I love her more than anything and I would do anything in the world for her. She means so much to me, and I didn't even realize that things were so bad. I know it sounds stupid but I just didn't realize how important she was to me until she was gone. Then my whole world came apart. I think I have a lot of unhappiness in myself, and since I was unhappy I just didn't care. She was the only thing that really brought me happiness and I didn't even realize it. I want to change myself and am starting counseling on Jan 6. I just don't know what to do about my W. She says she needs time apart and that she isn't in love with me anymore and she doesn't think we can work on our marriage by her coming home and not being happy. I do understand this but I want to get the love back we had but I don't know how or if it is possible. She told me in the beginning of this she wanted a divorce but has not said anything about it since, we talk at least 6-7 times a day on the phone, we go out and do things (not much but still...) she spent Christmas Eve at my parents and I spent Christmas at her sisters with her...I'm just at a loss. It seems like she still cares but I want her to come home and work on it but she isn't willing. What do I do? Do I continue to just wait it out? Do I tell her there is a set period of time we either need to work on it or go our separate ways? I would give anything for this girl...she is the love of my life but I feel like she doesn't want me to love her anymore. All I remember are the good times we had (a LOT of them) and all she seems to remember are the bad.
