It is good to expect the worst and hope for the best. I would hope that she would let you know that she is going to tell the kids so you could be ready for the fallout. BTW how old are your kids? Depending on their age I would let her know that you are putting this on her that you are not part of the decision to end the marriage and that you definitely think that what mommy is doing is wrong and you do not agree but she is an adult and can make her own choices. This all depends on age IMHO. I know what your thinking...where is the compasionate, loving, give her a pass "missherlove" man you have been conversing with?
This is part of my own strategy, show them you can change and you can be the man they have dreamed about but the other part of that man is just that "A MAN" Been reading "No More Mr. Nice Guy" can you tell? I think you deal with the D paperwork accordingly, if no time limits, no courts involved, ignore it. If she is spending time with you and kids or just you on a date, fine business as usual, lots of 180's and upbeat PMA. She wants permission to further destroy and cause pain to the family its time to MAN UP!!! Now don't get me wrong here if she is still seeing him and chooses not to tell the kids then it is still Mr. Nice guy, suck it up. But if she starts pushing the D or the children meeting OM then gloves come off. Check out my thread and I will update in a minute on the day's events for me.
Formerly "missherlove"
Me49 XW49 M17 T19 S16 D20
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.