Newbie with almost WAW - Need Advice

[chatterbug]

I agree with Sandi. The day I found out about my wife's A, I could hardly function at work. People wondered what was wrong and I confided in them even though I told them to stay quiet. This was the WRONG thing to do! Words spread like wild fire.

My W says that we might have been able to work through things if this information wasn't out. Now she wants to walk.

It was the wrong thing to do because it was self motivated. If I had the attitude that I wanted to protect my spouse I wouldn't have said anything. I spilled my guts now I have to deal with the carnage it caused.

She has to deal with the truth.

I find it interesting that you accepted this blame shift here on the affair.

She is walking because you exposed the truth or is she walking because she had an affair ?

Think about it.

Also think about those people you confided in. Did they take a vow to protect your marriage ? Or did you just slip up due to an extrememly emotional day?

And when she went at you about it. Did you say you were sorry for the exposure and that it would never happen again?
She gained control. She used fear to control you. I have read your stitch. She tries to control you via verbal abuse or physical abuse.

Your wife is a liar and a cheater. She has no respect for you , your children or your wedding vows. Yet you love her. I love my wife as well. She is also a liar and a cheater and has no respect for me nor our wedding vows. She said she wants to walk now because you did that... Well look at how far she has walked.

It was not wrong. What was wrong was how you exposed and how you backed down from the truth. She got mad because you rocked the boat.
You began to crack the fantasy here.

Look at all your actions and what has worked and what has not worked.

Fear not her words. Fear not her actions. Your marraige can survive anger. It cannot survive an affair.


And sorry for the thread hijack.


Edit : This sounds rather pissy and confrontation. It is not my intent.