Separated, new baby, but still hopeful

[newmama]

Cutter,
Thank you for thinking of me at midnight! Maybe that is what I felt around 9 p.m.? (PST):-) Truthfully, I thought of you, P, DBD and bestrong as well, wondering how we all will be doing when we ring in 2011! Maybe that is why I didn't get too sad?

About dropping the rope--I guess like everyone else here, I have ups and downs. I knew that I needed to change something but couldn't decide what. So I think that my goals of being more mysterious and pulling back by being busy/distant are good ones for right now. I think that some contact is good so that he can see my changes. Let's face it, all of us want our spouses back or we wouldn't be on this forum. I have never said I wasn't trying to pull him back! :-)

About "keeping this up," I decided that until I see a deadline, who cares? Seriously what is the rush? I have a 6 month old baby boy and am staying home from work until August.

If I went "no contact" here is what would happen:

WH would take S to OW 6 days per week, since that is how often WH sees S during his first year of life.

Both of us would be given a serious dose of divorced parent lifestyle.

So I do not see how my life will be better? And I would only want NC to bring him back quicker but in my sitch I just don't think it would work.

Might as well work on GAL and keep up the self improvements so they become ingrained habits. (need to work on yard work this spring--new self improvement area!)
Yes, I want him back. But if he doesn't come back, I have no regrets!

Oh and my baby boy was born July 6.