Separated, new baby, but still hopeful

[newmama]

2010--new possibilities! I look at the new year like this: 2009 was almost rock bottom (except for the birth of my son) so what goes down must come up.

I ended up going down to my friend's house but I was right...it was hard on S. He woke up countless times between 8-6 a.m. The party wasn't that fun. It WAS good to see my friends though.
It was WEIRD to be at the same place that last year was where I learned of the A. Still, I felt a lot better this year than last year. It's like if last year was 0, this year was 6. So, it is better.

Luckily only one of my couple friends made out when the bell dropped. There was another single mom there with 2 kids; one was 4 months old! She was seeking a divorce because her controlling H regularly volunteered deployment duty and neglected the family. She said she doesn't love him anymore. They lived in Hawaii; he doesn't sound too interested in sticking around to be the kids' dad.

So I was luckily so busy taking care of S that I didn't have time to feel sorry for myself. And I don't think I thought about what WH was doing at all until the next day!

Then instead of going home yesterday, S and I stayed at my friend's house for one more night. He was in a surprising good mood and was happy all day yesterday, playing with my friend's kids (or they played with him) and I got to play Super Mario Brothers on the Wii...very fun! Also played Mario Party, too!

IN FACT, my friend's H hopped onto craiglist and found a used a wii with accessories and games for a great deal! SO I ended up getting it. Man, WH would never purchase something the same day he saw it, so it did feel a little "free" but also scary to make the decision to buy it. And it's used! But my friend's H immediately plugged it in and tested it out. It was fine! Today I will pick up Super Mario Brothers and then start practicing.
Over the next month I'll acquire wii fit plus and the step bench but I do have the elliptical for now....

As I keep doing searches on the internet for good deals on some accessories it makes me think of WH and miss his involvement, friendship, help...he is the first person I used to tell everything to, the first person I asked for advice and the ONLY person I USED to trust! Now who do I trust? Just myself I guess.

It came with 2 numchucks, a steering wheel, and a charging station but only one controller. So I need a memory card and another controller eventually. When I pick up the game today, I will get a memory card.

Ideally, I can practice playing this game and hide the wii from WH until I get pretty good at it. Or maybe until I get the wii
fit plus? Don't know. But I DO KNOW that I am excited to start playing the game! It truly is not something that I am doing just to show WH I can change, but that was the original motivating factor. Now I just want to get good at it and add it to my list of NEW hobbies!

The wii came with 10 other games, too, so I do have some others to play besides Super Mario!

All in all, my New Year's Eve was definitely NOT sad, but it wasn't amazing or anything. I have gotten through another holiday! Wow, my patience is pretty good I must say.

Oh and WH must have learned from the Christmas text to not bother to wish me Happy New Year! I was so relieved that he just said to let him know when we got home and to have a good night! Relieved because I didn't want to deal with having to avoid wishing him a Happy D Day/ New Year (surely he remembers what happened this time last year!) He did help me get packed up on New Year's Eve before I hit the road to go to my friend's house. I can't remember much of what happened on NYE with him at the house, other than I was busy a lot and he found MORE little things to take care of (There is no way I could possibly prevent him from doing the little things!!!)