Deployed Soldier/Father needs your help

[Gnosis]

I am feeling some of the same feelings of dread and despair that I was feeling before I went on R & R.

And how did it work out for you then?
What did you do to get out of it?

W has NOT contaced me. I am obsessing over her NOT contacting me. I don't understand why she is dark. I know I have to let go of that, but it just makes NO sense.

Not what you want to know, but something to think about: "Ours is not to reason why, ours is to do or die." Does that ring a bell?

We agreed to do the work, we agreed to seek counseling. We agreed to work on our marriage, and now I feel as if the rug was pulled out from under my feet.

OK, another question... the "we" in your quote reflect the two of you. Um... last time I looked the two of you are thousands of miles apart, so how does that work out?

I went for a 4 mile run, and feel better, but my thoughts careen all over the place on what is going on with her/us.

I hear you. Unfortunately the only thing you CAN do is keep yourself busy.

I know everyone says this is a rollercoaster ride, but when does the ride begin to smooth out?

Its starts to smooth out when you can detach from the situation. Some people take years to achieve it, others months. There is no set timing or fixed rule on the length of time. This all depends on YOU. The sooner you can reign in your thoughts and control them the sooner it smoothes out. Not the answer you were looking for, but the only one I can give you.