Deployed Soldier/Father needs your help

[SoldierDad]

I am feeling some of the same feelings of dread and despair that I was feeling before I went on R & R.

I know that I am ok, I know that I am on the right track.

W has NOT contaced me. I am obsessing over her NOT contacting me. I don't understand why she is dark. I know I have to let go of that, but it just makes NO sense.

We agreed to do the work, we agreed to seek counseling. We agreed to work on our marriage, and now I feel as if the rug was pulled out from under my feet.

I went for a 4 mile run, and feel better, but my thoughts careen all over the place on what is going on with her/us.

I know everyone says this is a rollercoaster ride, but when does the ride begin to smooth out?