I like reading "still hopefull" posts... he has a no nonsense kind of approach. I agree that being harsh is not the proper approach. We need to be able to show the W's that we understand why they are doing what they are is doing. We do not agree with it or condone it, but we understand it. They know that, at least mine does. At the same time they need to understand there actions will have consequences (e.g., I am not willing to put up with the OM so family time is very limited).
They are making this decesion, not us, at least in my opinion. For my W, she understands these consequences but the happiness the OM is providing her trumps all. By having more family time I may facilitate more internal guilt within her but she has already shown she can justify her actions (guilt) becuase of our bad marriage. I have not received any mixed signals is sometime.
I picked up the kids this morning...she was nice, but cold at the same time, if that makes since. I stayed upbeat and positve and wished he luck with the painting.
