I am going to tell you a short story. My D23, who is bipolar had quit school, come home, ran away to live with my father. They were enabling her to continue, and she had not yet been diagnosed as BP. This finally blew up about a year later and she came home. We were finally able to get her into a facility to help her. I was so scared that she wouldn't take the meds. She was refusing at first. I slipped her one and told her it was a vitamin. The therapists had a cow! They were so mad at me! But the fixer in me didn't want my D23 to not get help. I was scared because my mother has been BP my whole life. I didn't want my D23 to refuse help like my mother. In retrospect they were right and I was wrong. D23 has taken control of her own mental health takes her pills religously, she has graduated college and has a great job.
Some times you have to let go, and let the birds fly out of the nest. Your 180 with your H is to let go. Stop fixing. He will notice. You may not get results right away but it is the only path that you can take to get to where you really want to be.
