I am sorry you find yourself here, but if you have been reading other threads here, especially Soldier Dad's, you know this is a great place for advice, support and to vent. It pi$$es me off when I see infidelity, but when a soldier who is a long way from home and who is fighting to protect all of us back home is being wronged, I really have to calm down before I post.
Ok, so, it sounds like you are wise enough to see right through the BS story about the new email account. Initially, "I don't know nothing" which changes to "Oh, yeah, about that, I guess I DID open that account, but it was only so OM, who I should not have had ANY contact with, could tell me sorry and tell me to tell YOU sorry." Uh...yeah. Spineless, coward OM could have grown a set and told you that...like a MAN, but as he isn't capable of knowing what a MAN is, I guess that excuse will just have to do.
Enough of my rant. You have a serious question to ask yourself. Has she gone outside the M....AGAIN? One time is bad enough, but can be overcome. Another time? I don't know that that is something I could accept. Can you?
There are others here who can advise you on the OM situation - seek out Puppy Dog Tails. He can help you there.
I think you have to call her on the BS about the email account. "W, I will not share you with another man." I would strongly recommend you retain an attorney back home and find out what you are looking at in the way of financial obligations to her and the kids and custody. DO NOT tell her you are doing this yet. Right now, you need to get your ducks in a row. It WILL make you feel better to know what you are looking at.
After you have told her you won't share her, then no contact with her until you talk to a L. No begging, pleading, pursuit. DO NOT initiate contact with her.
Deal with your emotions. Let them out, but not to her.
Can you get a copy of DR/DB? If so, pick one up and start reading it.
If you are religious, then get your nose in a Bible or whatever book you read. Pray, meditate for peace, patience, strength, wisdom, discernment. Then pray for more patience.
And post here. There are a lot of very wise people here who can help you.
