Wife wants best of both worlds

[MHL]

I am still doing some soul searching on the family time issue. The one thing that really bothers me about it is that when I have the kids, she is nowhere to be found. However, when she has the kids, that is typically when I can squeeze in family time, sometimes at her request (dinner). I still like your 180 approach but what she is doing is cake eating at its worst, which is not fair to me or the kids.

I know its not fair, none of this is fair for anyone on these boards to be married and have your spouse bail out on you and not try harder to work on the M. I think I said this before, whenever I get discouraged I reread the success stories, I especially like Diehard's story and there are some others also. here is the link.
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=455497&page=10
I will say this again, which is contrary to most of the advice given on the boards today, but not being so harsh on the WAS seems to work in a lot of the success stories especially the older one's. Diehard's example is one of showing love and keeping up the contact after you are separated. FWIW, I do think at some point we do pull back and let them come to us. I am going to have to start that tomorrow, I want to ask her to come to church with me and the kids tomorrow but I will have hold off. She needs to be by herself and miss us before that desire comes back.