Thanks for asking. It went pretty well. She came over with the kids around 2 and brought snacks to keep us all alive. We played a little Wii; watched some football; played with new toys; and then did dinner. Our conversations were light and filled with a lot of friendly banter, which has been typical between us. I am still out of sorts, so at times yesterday was tough but I did my best to maintain a positve and friendly attitude. I did realize how much we have grown apart from a couples perspective and that was a little disconcerning.
I am still doing some soul searching on the family time issue. The one thing that really bothers me about it is that when I have the kids, she is nowhere to be found. However, when she has the kids, that is typically when I can squeeze in family time, sometimes at her request (dinner). I still like your 180 approach but what she is doing is cake eating at its worst, which is not fair to me or the kids. If she were to initiate family time when she did not have the kids, that would be a big deal and a possible turnng point. She does sometimes request to come over when she does not have the kids, but that is becuase she misses them...usually it is very brief.
My strategy for the past four months has been tough love, but friendly and positive when she is around. I have had a couple of meltdowns when I have found out things about the OM (I need to work on this)but other than that we have not had any R discussions. In any case, although this appraoch has shown little results I think it is about my only option. I am willing to do family time on occassion just to give her a sense of what she is missing but that is about it. Right now I want to show her that I will be there for her as a friend and try to improve our firendship at the same time. From there it is about acceptance, unconditional love, patience and consistancy...the role we are all playing.
Good luck today and play it cool, do something different.
