Well tonight was the night that I told my wife that I was not moving out. How did she take it? Not that it matters but I am glad that she doesn't have telekinesis. I am sure that I would have been blown up several times. I stayed calm throughout the entire conv (2hours) off and on. Later in the conv she asked where I was sleeping and I replied our bed, something that I hadn't done in 2 months. When given the choice to move out if she wanted to she said "Do you think I am stupid? That would look like I am abandoning my child. She also added that she would move out w/o S3 over her dead body. (nice touch)
She later said we'll let the lawyers handle the custody. I validated and then backslid, adding with what money? She is sleeping in the guest room that has a futon in it. It is uncomfortable as can be.(trust me I know) I do feel bad about it b/c over her back issues right now but she does have a choice to sleep in our bed.
She is back in the computer/guest room right now. Started to try and talk about a schedule for when we needed to watch S3. She was less than receptive. She started talking about babysitting and her fee. I just tried to end it there. She wouldn't let it go.
Many more details, lets just say that she is in crisis now.
Last edited by williaij; 01/02/1004:36 AM.
"The first step in the acquisition of wisdom is silence, the second listening, the third memory, the fourth practice, the fifth teaching others." Solomon Ibn Gabriol
"The first step in the acquisition of wisdom is silence, the second listening, the third memory, the fourth practice, the fifth teaching others." Solomon Ibn Gabriol
She is sleeping in the guest room that has a futon in it. It is uncomfortable as can be.(trust me I know) I do feel bad about it b/c over her back issues right now but she does have a choice to sleep in our bed.
She wasn't too concerned about you when she said she wanted a D. Don't feel sorry for her. Her choice, but they come with consequences.
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She started talking about babysitting and her fee.
What? Is she asking to be paid to watch your S?
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Many more details, lets just say that she is in crisis now.
Don't save her from this. She needs to experience this.
Hang in there. You took a big step, and one that is favorable.
Yes she wanted to be paid 10 per hour to watch him when I go "out" Sunday.
She is spinning.
Last edited by williaij; 01/02/1004:48 AM.
"The first step in the acquisition of wisdom is silence, the second listening, the third memory, the fourth practice, the fifth teaching others." Solomon Ibn Gabriol
Now that I have taken this step, I feel sure that she will be contacting/retaining the L next to find out what she can do legally. I am still going to keep on working on me. This week’s Goals: I have to contact a few more L’s this week just in case No more R talk. Keep being/acting happy Continue with 180’s
When talking with her tonight she kept trying to get me to tell her what would be different from the other times that we have gotten help. She wanted words. I told her that if I were in her shoes I don’t think that I would believe much of what came out of my mouth and asked her if that was the case. I have said these same things over and over again only to stop doing them shortly thereafter.
Don’t know if it was wrong but just seemed to fit.
As always, tell me like it is.
"The first step in the acquisition of wisdom is silence, the second listening, the third memory, the fourth practice, the fifth teaching others." Solomon Ibn Gabriol
You can't convince her with words. Takes consistent action and time. So start now.
Find out what you are looking at by talking to L's. You need to be ready to protect yourself. And, it will help you gain control over the situation by letting you know what the likely outcome will be.
Got an apology this AM. Whats to talk about R. I am trying to stall for now but having a hard time thinking up reasons why.
Any suggestions? Or should I talk about R?
"The first step in the acquisition of wisdom is silence, the second listening, the third memory, the fourth practice, the fifth teaching others." Solomon Ibn Gabriol
Actions speak louder than words. What actions make you believe these words are true? Don't get reeled in by words. They are just a test to see where you are at. To make sure that she still has control of you. Is that what you want?(her control of YOU). How did things change so fast since yesterday? You said goals for week were no R talk. Did you forget your goals?
You read the detachment threads. I think you know what you have to do.
Thank you, I went back and read the do's and don'ts of DBing. She is pushing hard to talk about the R. I don't want to. I think that she needs to be in crisis for a little while. She has always wanted everything solved NOW. I am trying to stay in control but I am feeling her start to break me down. Calm, cool, confident and remember to breathe.
"The first step in the acquisition of wisdom is silence, the second listening, the third memory, the fourth practice, the fifth teaching others." Solomon Ibn Gabriol
