Any ideas about a title for a new thread? Anyone? I've got a couple of ideas, but was wondering where to go with this.
I had the boys all week long. Lots of Lego building. Celebrated birthday of S8 becoming S9. Had a lot of good one-on-one time with my kids. But then all good things... must come to an end.
xW showed up an hour early to pick up the kids for the custody exchange. I thought I was taking them down to her instead. I guess I was wrong. Again, wasn't expecting that. She seems to delight in taking control of the situation. (Too bad she couldn't place so much initiative in our MR.)
She managed to really p'ss me off by bringing a couple huge boxes so as to be able to cart away all the gifts I had given the boys for Christmas and birthdays. Always does this. And yes, I (and Santa) gave these toys to my S's, so they are pretty much theirs to do with as they want, but somehow she always manages to keep them from ever returning in one piece. If I object, then she starts to portray me as some selfish monster, right in front of them. This has become such a sore spot with me that I feel resentful -- I feel discouraged from ever giving my S's toys or clothing in the first place, as they continually leave here to never return (or at the very least not in one piece or entirety.)
Here it is -- the start of a new year. And yet she is already trying to get under my skin.
It still hurts very much, but I'm letting it all go. It's not worth it.
Oh, xW also brought back something that technically belonged to me (or at least I had at least some claim to) when we lived in our house. It was the huge subwoofer to our theater system. I looked at it and at her and asked her why she was suddenly giving this back to me -- it's been over two years and I have since had to buy my own replacement. She gave me this look as if I was being an idiot and asked me was she supposed to just throw it away then, since I no longer need it.
In the end I took this one stray component back from xW, all the while shaking my head in utter disbelief, wondering why she thought now to bring this odd item back to me. There are a whole slew of other things that were in her possession that I never got back, including some very practical and useful items that she denied me, most explicitly. I figure this speaker was a token offer of some some garbage item in appeasement to me -- in exchange for her convincing the boys to take all of their new toys I gave them back to her place. I don't know.
I mentioned this just to shed some light on xW's oddities and disjointed thought patterns.
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I haven't spoken with my brother in a while now. It's been close to a month now. But I know he's dealing with the dissolution of his own M. I could have bet on it, but I found out that his W, my SIL, is seeing another guy now. I could have laid bets that was what her motives were/are really all about. Early on, right before their Sep and into the early part of that, she kept trying to convince me that her chief reason for splitting from my brother was because of their increasing religious differences (my brother, much as I love him, has become agnostic and anti-religious.) But while I humored her, I wasn't buying -- I have heard such platitudes before from folks wanting to find any sort of justification, however spurious, for ending their M's.
Anyway, my brother's W has now quietly unfriended me in FB -- I figure it must have taken place some time this week, as that was when I heard she started coming out publicly talking about her relationship with this other man. At the same time I guess she's decided that she's going to cut me and the rest of her IL's, my family, out of her life after all -- despite all the many many assurances otherwise that she gave us when she and my brother first started their Sep. In the end, she's just like all the other self-serving wayward spouses.
It sucks so bad to have yet another WAW in our family. Such betrayal and deceit. How can people live with themselves like that?
I really feel bad for my brother. But then he is not fighting this whatsoever. I really hate to say it but he is being an utter fool. He is losing not only his wife, but he is most certainly risking the respect of his children, especially by trying all too hard to keep the peace. He's so ultra-typical the "middle child", never wanting to rock the boat -- would rather flee than fight for what is right.
I guess that's where he and I are so different. While I am far from a violent person, I will take a stand on things I know to be right against things I know to be wrong. As such, I feel I am am more confident I would retain any measure of love and respect from my kids more successfully than my poor brother with his non-confrontational approach. What I can't figure out is how he got to be such a wimp. It's just not like the scrappy little kid I grew up with. M'ed life has certainly tamed him.
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Well, here I am ranting again. Sheesh.
I hate starting the new year off this way. I really hope things start turning out for the better, as I am quite tired of all this drama. But when I don't hear from or deal with xW or anyone like her, I find I can honestly enjoy my time with my S's.
