Not Me...Ever part 2

[Gardener]

Serenity!

To all of you who came by earlier - I send my utmost thanks to each of you...

I dealt with my 14 year old (going on 19 year old) by being strong and letting him know there was no playing anymore...

Whether he likes it or not I am in charge and it will be my way period. There will be no pushing me around anymore because he doesn't like the situation we are in...

I let him know how it made me feel, let him know what the boundaries were from now on and also what the consequences were if he didn't respect the boundaries I laid out...

Something must have gotten in there because he was home 2 hours before curfew in a much better mood then when he left.

Let him know there is no playing me against his Dad...His Dad is in no position to take care of him so he needed to get that out of his head asap - No way as long as I am breathing is he going to live there unless a court orders me to do it.

As for the money issue...

After a good cry, some raging & a mini pity-party, I took as much action as I could on a holiday. I let his Mom know what he had done this time...

I went over to the storage unit to see if I could find my older sons birth certificate (that is what is holding up child support)...

Found mine, H and little ones but couldn't find the one I was looking for.

Also found some stuff H had broke when he had packed some things back in July...Nothing major but still.

Left a message for my lawyer and will be in there first thing Monday morning...

Abandonment isn't illegal in my state - It is a form of child abuse but not grounds for anything else - Cutting all financial ties - That is illegal and grounds for jail.

Do I feel bad about it?

Absolutely not (for my kids yes)...I will do whatever I need to do in order to take care of my kids.

I have taken his crap from day one with as much Grace and Love that I can muster up...

I make an effort each and every single day not to hate him...

I make an effort each and every single day to forgive him...

I can make excuses for his treatment of me and willingly take the 2x4's that come with it...

What I cannot do is sit by and allow him to continuously mistreat our boys...

Don't want to be there mentally, physically or emotionally? That is on him and something I know he will regret in the future...

Don't want to be there for them financially? To bad - That is on me to take care of and if it means a few days in jail then so be it...

Be angry, hate me with every breath you take, blame me for every failure in your life, file for divorce...

I as an adult will move forward eventually...

Eff with my boys and I don't care who you are, I will take you down...

So the gloves have come off and I decided to bypass H all together...

I thought about sending an email like I did last week and I took it as a sign when neither Puppy nor Coach responded with words I may have needed to say to H.

I will no longer spar with him verbally...

Everything from this day forward will be done and documented by my lawyer.

(((((Hugs)))))

Perhaps the strongest, gutsiest post I've ever read you (or maybe anyone else) post on this board! I am in awe of your (continued) transformation. And without compromising your beliefs, decency, forgiveness and grace! Brava, woman. I am proud to know ya. Have been for months, actually, but, but Tonight...!

And see son's response? At that age they want, crave, parental strengthm limits and expectations, though they'd never admit it! Home two hours before curfew: ha!

You are raising a man. Din't let H screw that up because he'll just clone a self-centered, immature boy like himself. Go, Mama Bear! Go kick-a$$ woman! Go Serenity!!