You wrote "W, I am prepared to work on our M, and part of that, a crucial part, is that I be able to trust you. Without that, this M, no M, will work. But, you have shattered my trust and faith in you. I don't know if I can regain that, and it will take some time and effort on your part." And this is where transparency comes in. If she is truly interested in being trustworthy, she should have no problem with a transparency plan...b/c (1) she should want to earn your trust back and (2) she should have NOTHING to hide".
When should I do this? I really beleive that she believes in her mind that she has done NOTHING wrong. I beleive that she has somehow convinced herself that she hasn't stepped outside the M.
I know we can't control other people, but how in the world do I suggest to my W, that she needs help, and she needs to do it herself, when she doesn't think she really has a problem?
When we discussed her seeing a doctor, she admitted to childhood issues, and some other things, but I'm not sure she will ever follow through and actually TELL her doctor about her issues. Is there anyway I can help her with that?
Right now, I don't think you have that conversation with her. She's not ready for that. I seem to remember you saying she was willing to see a MC. If so, that needs to be your next move (after talking to your L, of course). See where MC takes you.
