Deployed Soldier/Father needs your help

[SoldierDad]

gima,

That sounds so easy. I am even more hurt/confused than what I was pre-tagging.

Why did I do that?

If I just would have stayed the course, things might have gone in a different direction.

I feel like I took a thousand steps back. I pushed her away, even though I should be the one that is hurt, she makes me feel like she is hurting MORE than me.

I mean I KNOW she has had at least an EA, 99% sure there was a PA, why won't she admit to it? She admitted to kissing OM. I told her the only way for us to move forward was to be brutally honest with each other, but she refuses to admit to an A.

I will do my best to just BE, but I feel like I NEED to do something to get to where we were 2 days ago-so that we can move forward.

I had everything planned out as far as the divorce, and the custody stuff, now I am really unsure of everything.

Am I just stupid or what? I just feel so dumb, and used...