I'm staying with old friends over the New Year Weekend. They were friends of my ex-husband and I and I guess I got them in the divorce.
I've spent the weekend regaling them with hilarious stories of my exploits over the past 12 months including innumerable anecdotes of the completely unsuitable men I've got dirty with and escapades that surely prove that life post divorce is a great big adventure that opens a world of new and enticing opportunities. Indeed they are impressed and have expressed a little bit of envy for the exciting life I vividly paint over a couple of bottles of good Aussie red.
I went to bed last night, sore from laughing and happy to be with old friends .... and terribly sad that this new life has come at such a high cost. Friends lost, relationships divided, an entire history of two good people - my ex husband and I - just gone.
Living an authentic life is hard work and it's lonely.
I loved being married to my ex. I loved our friendship, his ability to always get just the right gift (I love how your wife got you something SO appropriate for Christmas - and it really does demonstrate that she cares deeply about your happiness as she perceives it if not your sexuality!!)
When I read your post this morning I felt a little bit of envy for you ... I may be having great sex and prima facie a life I'll be very proud to relive to all who will listen in my old age ... but I don't have what you have, a partner who trusts you sufficiently to tend to them when they are at their most vulnerable.
There is a lot to be said for a shared history of loving devotion - and sex or not - you shouldn't underestimate the gift of your companionship with the woman who has shared your life all these years.
Happy New Year Captain. I raise my cup of hot English Breakfast to you.
V
V
Never make someone a priority, who makes you an option.
