Need Some 2x4's & Help/Advice

[RedHeadWife]

Thanks for all the responses. I really appreciate it.

I woke up feeling better this a.m. Hopefully, this means I am going to be able to start moving forward again instead of treading water or whatever it is that I've been doing.

I am on AD's. They seemed to pick me up for awhile, then kind of back to nothing again.

I don't know if he has an OW again or not. My gut tells me that, if he isn't already involved in some sort of EA, he's on the verge if I don't wake up & keep it from happening.

One of the biggest issues for me right now is that I have absolutely no SD at all. None, zip, nadda. That was a huge part of our downfall before. I've tried to act "as if" outside of the bedroom, but I actually get almost filled w/ dread when it comes bed time. I know I need to fake it 'til I make it on this one, or things are going to go bad in a heartbeat, so I will begin working on that this evening.

Ok, so that's goal (1) down and I can make it happen immediately starting tonight.

Goal (2) is to get my rear back in the gym on Monday. I already have a membership and had been in a routine until late October when H and I actually went on a cruise and a million excuses have kept me from going back since.

Goal (3) I believe is to get my self-esteem issue faced head-on, which hopefully will be helped when I start working on myself physically again.

I am feeling a lot better mentally and physically today. I need to just forge ahead and keep just thinking positively.

I hope everyone had a good new year's eve & day!