Can I still set the OM boundary, and expect her to comply?
You serious?! Unless you want to live in an open M (I can't, and IMO, that is not the definition of M), you not only can do this, but you HAVE to do this. What sort of example do you want to set for your boys?
Quote:
She mentioned that I need to trust her, that she is taking care of it-HOW DO I DO THAT?? How do I trust her at all?
How do I get her to understand that I don't trust her, but I want to?
"W, I am prepared to work on our M, and part of that, a crucial part, is that I be able to trust you. Without that, this M, no M, will work. But, you have shattered my trust and faith in you. I don't know if I can regain that, and it will take some time and effort on your part." And this is where transparency comes in. If she is truly interested in being trustworthy, she should have no problem with a transparency plan...b/c (1) she should want to earn your trust back and (2) she should have NOTHING to hide.
Stop trying to speculate about what she may be thinking or what she may do next. You can't read her mind, her actions this soon after all he!! has broken loose probably aren't going to be trustworthy and you are only driving yourself nuts. Get back to fundamentals.
