Deployed Soldier/Father needs your help

[SoldierDad]

Gnosis,
I value your advice and words of encouragement, it always sets me straight.

I am sitting here crying, felling sorry for myself because I had these delusions of grandeur, and now I am back at square one.

My W has a difficult time acknowledging fault-always has. How can i help her with that?

Also, when we were talking, we talked about her having issues in her mind about her childhood, and that she needed to see a doctor to see what was wrong-we discussed Bi-polar etc.

She did not wish to be on any medicines, abut I encouraged her that it might help her deal with her issues.

Over all, our talk was very productive-or so I thought.

I re-established that I would NOT share her with another man/men, and she agreed to end everything. I don't know if I believe her on this though, as the guy from Dallas has alot to offer, and bought her a ugly black onyx like ring. She promised me she would return it, and end the relationship-DO I BELIEVE HER?

How do I know that it truly is over? Her word? Because if/when I ask for transparency, she is going to say - "what, you don't trust me?" I don't know what to respond with and how to begin to trust her again. I WANT TO TRUST HER.

I want to do the work to repair our M, and she agreed that she did too-what happened between a day ago and last night? What did I do to screw that up? We were talking about everything-the boys telling her things, I brought up OM-whenever I do she becomes very defensive and changes back to my problems-I understand this, but it is very frustrating.

If we do talk again, what should I talk with her about? She constantly brings up the way I used to act, say, do. I didn't take her out/was smothering/controlling etc.

I just want to make positive steps, and do whatever I can to help her come home.

I also want to do the work on myself, to continue to heal from all of this. I hope that my M is a product of that, and will benefit from it.