Take a deep breath and get control of yourself. You sound panicked. Calm down.
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I just feel like I should DO something.
Yep. Cuz you have a set of ball$. We men are fixers. We see a problem and have the urge to DO something to fix it. DON'T. Just BE for now.
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I want to feel good about wanting to make it work, but right now she is making me feel like I did something wrong again.
SHE isn't making you feel anything. YOU are. How you react to anything external to yourself is up to YOU. So, stop.
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Is this crap normal? I mean is this the way it's going to go?
Don't know, and neither do you. Out of your control, so let it go. You only control YOU.
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What should I expect next from her? To renew our vows??!!
If I were you, I would need time to see if her ACTIONS demonstrated she was serious about working on the M. Exactly what the means YOU need, I think only you know that. But, it's going to require patience and resolve on your part.
This is where walking two parallel paths comes in (I stole that from Coach). You simultaneously prepare for the worst (D) while remaining open to working on the M. Choice is her's.
So, please calm down. You have spun yourself WAY up. So, you made a mistake. You can't undo it. You can only go forward from here and do the best you can.
This is no time to meltdown. Keep it together and keep moving forward. Nothing really has chancged with you plan.
