No offense GIMA. I notice misogyny not just on this thread, but several others. There is a thinking that is becoming stronger on the boards to dominate the women, ignore their wants or desires, and go play the field. I understand that many men do need to reclaim their balls because they have let the women get the upper hand in the marriages. But it is possible to go too far in the other direction. We need to keep in mind that our goal is the restoration of marriages where possible, not divorce.
No offense taken.
I DO NOT support dating while M'd. Some do. I don't. I took a vow, vows I take very seriously, despite what my W may choose to do. One spouse's immoral behavior does not justify the other one to engage in that as well.
And I don't support encouraging either side of a M to dominate the other.
I DO support addressing and dealing with the "Nice Guy" syndrome (and I'm a recovering one of those too). And, a "Nice Guy" isn't what you may think. If you've read "No More Mr. Nice Guy" you understand what it is.
And I agree with you that the overriding goal is to restore the M, if that's possible. At the same time, either spouse must protect themselves in the face of a threat from the other spouse. And I don't care the sex of the threatening or threatened spouse. If the genders were flipped in SD's sitch, I would still be giving SD the same advice he has received thus far.
