Wife worked till four yesterday. Sent text saying she was doing an errand prior to heading to the grocery store (she wanted to get stuff to make cookies). Low and behold, I get a call at 645, and then she arrives home at 7:30. Imagine that.
Upon coming home mentions that "WE" as a family were invited to a party. Low and behold, at 8:45, she comes upstairs into my room to "chat." After I waited her out, she mentioned that she thought she was just going to stop by the party, and that she might be home before midnight. I told her that's fine, but that she wouldn't be back before midnight. She hedged. But I knew.
We had a small talk after that. I think it went well. I told her that I realized recently why she was so angry, and that it made sense given how I treated her. I wasn't emotional, I didn't break down, it was very matter of fact. She started bawling. She also apologized for the first time for her behaviors. She said she has so many regrets now, she doesn't know if she can forgive herself for what has happened. She must have gone through about ten tissues in our fifteen minute talk.
Anyway...it was hard, but I felt like I understood her, and she knew I understood her. Her "Ice Queen" persona melted a bit. On her way out of the room to head to the "party" she asked if she could give me a hug. I said ok. It was weird.
She stayed out until 145 am. I half expected that. I actually got a call from a suicidal patient at 1am, so I was up when she got home.
I'm tired of the ups and downs. I've got to take the focus off of her. I do feel that our conversation was good last night. She thawed. But I'm fully expecting her to go back to the usual (i.e., staying out till almost 2 am last night).
