Imagine someone asked you on a date, and you said: not until you work through your _______ problem. Probably, that R is not going to get off the ground. Generally, successful R's are built between people who like each other, treat each other well, demonstrate appreciation for each other, and so on. Take a break from focusing on the negative. Act like you want to date her. Geez.
You are starting a new R. Why is her controlling behavior a problem for you? She cannot control you unless you allow it. If she stops dating you because you don't let her control you, that's her problem. YOU are going to have to work through your capitulation issues and resentment in any R you have. You may as well try to work through them with W.
Your focus is still on fixing W. Put your focus back on YOU. How do you need to change? What boundaries do you need to set and enforce? What is acceptable to you?
Sorry, OT, but I see a huge contradiction here. AFW has said that her getting counseling if they are to reconcile IS one of his main boundaries. And he's TRYING to enforce that.
And this:
Women get Brazilian waxes when they are going to wear bathing suits or leotards or lingerie or when they want to feel sexy. I doubt W would tell you that she was getting a Brazilian for any other reason than to pique your interest.
If her being sexy and flirtatious and demonstrating sexual interest in you is a problem for you, then you should probably just file for D now.
just ignores the fact of her Other Men, and the high likelihood that it is Someone Else for whom she got this done. At BEST, I think she's trying to manipulate AFW.
I do agree with you on the "he just needs to file" part though.
