Does Mrs. GGB know EXACTLY where you stand? Have you spoken frankly, honestly, and out of love with her about your concerns for her and your marriage? What consequences has SHE experienced as a result of how you feel?
I agree with you in that things won't get better until she figures out who she is and how to be happy with herself. What motivation does she have to do so? What help does she have from you in order to do such? This isn't something you can do for her, but perhaps being on kid-care duty could allow some space for her to do so. Are there things you could do on your own, i.e. cooking dinner, doing dishes, cleaning the house, etc that she is currently doing that would help her find some freedom from being Mom and Mrs. GGB?
I fully believe in the idea of letting the spouse feel the consequence of his/her actions. I took on many consequences of Mr. Em's actions, when they belonged fully to him. By doing such, he lacked the impetus to make changes. What is her impetus to change?
Me: 34 H: 39 M: 7 yrs H A 12/05-8/07
If what you say surprises me, I must have been assuming something else was true. - M. Wheatley
