I agree with the others. SD had a great idea of writing a list of the positives in you - and they ARE there.
It seems to me that the main issue right now, and possibly the reason you are dating, is you are seeking your happiness from others - whether you wanting them to make you happy or you thinking you can gain happiness by giving them what they want. And you will not gain happiness that way.
We all say this, but YOU have to make YOU happy. Happiness really does come from within yourself and nowherelse. So, SD's list is a great idea and a first step to helping you realize your own happiness.
You should also take time to forgive yourself and heal. You ARE a very valuable person, even right now, as you may have questions about whether you are worthwhile. Stop asking those questions and realize the answer is positively yes, you are an extremely valuable person with a lot to give.
And maybe that giving is manifested in loving someone else once you have healed. Or, maybe it's in helping others with issues similar to yours.
I do believe Lotus is right that now is not the time for you to be dating or involved. I know that even if I were D'd right now, I would not be ready for that. There will never be a shortage of men willing to take advantage of you. It's up to you not to allow that to happen.
And, please understand, I am not judging you or condemning you. You have been through a lot. You have been had experiences that your H orchestrated that a H should not even think, let alone act upon. You HAVE to give yourself time to heal before you allow yourself to become involved with anyone.
I also think getting on a weekly schedule with your C is a great idea. Make that happen.
You are a worthy, wonderful person who has a great deal to give to herself and others. It's up to you to get yourself healed and to a point to be able to give your gifts to someone who truly needs them.
I will keep praying for you. Please keep posting here. We really do want to help you.
