I forwarded the decree on to Dan. The only reply he sent was that he didn't know how he could get me the lump sum within 30 days, he needed a payment plan or to cash out the 401 K....
Seems to me he had no trouble cashing out a piece of the 401K to put down on his house when he wanted to...
18 years and his only concern is the cash.....sad.
I guess I find it surprising that this suprises you....
I mean did you really expect Dan to give you some sort of emotional response??
which would you rather do?? have a payment plan or take it all in one lump sum BBJ??? I mean I hate to reduce it to that for you..
But that is what it is
it's about getting the business of the D done..
having a love life is going to be up to you and what you make of that...
expecting any type emotional response from Dan is wasting time in my opionion..you're not going to get what you are looking for from him
How almost-but-not-quite appropriate... Too bad that CA and I have not really gotten that close at this point, and Dan is not remotely 'beckoning'...
quote]
Never say never...you just "never" know!
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Mike, I want lump sum. Period. No desire to drag this out and be reminded of it all the stinking time...besides, I may need that lump sum to live off short-term if I have a job reduction or something.
Last night he said that since he had drawn out for the house there was a waiting period before you could draw out again (401k). Well, seriously, he took money out LAST YEAR for the house! Like in January or February.....so I wonder if he didn't take money out again here this past month--I saw the statement in November and he hadn't touched anything then...
Anyway gotta get going this morning. Have tons to do!
I paid my XW off (alimony and division of assets) by refinancing my house. Dan may not be able to do that as his equity and increase in value of his new home may not be enough. But he should try to see if that is a possibility.
most 401k's have restrictions....ask him if he withdrew money from the 401k or he took a loan out?? Most 401's offer a hardship withdrawl under certain restrictions..but this method is taxed heavily..on the other hand..most will let you take a loan out for up to half the value of the account...and you just pay yourself back..they only allow a certain number of loans over a period of time..no tax penalties for the loan..
Sounds good girl.... wish we lived closer! Happy New Year!
M:47 M:18 D16, S19 1st S 1/08-5/08 Reconciled/May 7, 2008 Left again Nov 9, 2009 I Filed: Nov 17, 2009 Final: April 14, 2010 EX walked away from kids too
Too bad that CA and I have not really gotten that close at this point, and Dan is not remotely 'beckoning'...