Sorry you are having a rough patch. But, it won't last.
One of the great things about this board is the anonymity. So, that, coupled with the fact that people here all have seen and heard a lot. There is NO reason to be embarassed. We are here to listen, offer what help we can, then listen some more.
I can tell you my helping here (or trying to) is a little selfish. It really makes me feel good that I might be able to help someone through something I have not just read about, but lived. And, given the help I got here early on (and still), I know I can never repay it, but I will try.
Keep working on yourself. You have been through a lot, much of which a woman should never have to go through. Take your time to deal with that and heal yourself. We are all here whenever you need us.
