I'm sorry you're feeling so down today. Those conversations with H and the kids had to hurt big time. What are you doing tonight- something fun with the kids?
You know, I am actually pretty happy about the New Year b/c I am ready to forget 2009. 2010 has to be better and it will, no matter what happens in my M.
SG, what are you doing for yourself tonight?
I keep telling myself today is the last day of a bad year. Tomorrow, I am going to get a grip and realize that I am better than this.
I'm just hanging out with my kids tonight. My mom offered to take the kids tonight, but the girls asked me if I could stay home with them. We are going to watch a movie and eat tons of junk food. I even agreed to straighten their hair. Huge treat since they have butt length curly hair.
I'm really sorry. That does suck. Your H is in complete selfishness mode. I can't understand not wanting to be with my kids either. If he's that self absorbed, you are going to be MUCH better off without him. And so will the kids.
You aren't alone tonight. You have us. I'm not going anywhere, and will be hanging around here tonight as I watch the football game. There's a whole bunch of us here who won't be kissing an adult tonight at midnight (if I'm still awake!).
As hard as it is to see your H pull back from the kids, just know that as much as you want to shiled your children from hurt in this world, that is not something you can save them from. But, with you supporting them, they are going to be just fine.
I'm viewing tonight as the start of a new year that most certainly will be better than 2009. I won't let it not be that.
Hang in there. We are all going to have a much better 2010.
my H contacted me and asked for money...again! In that same conversation, he asked if I would be willing to consider doing this without lawyers. He said he couldn't afford one. I asked him if he really thought talking about divorce in the same conversation he asked for money was a good idea. His reply, I guess not.
I know it's difficult, but everytime you engage in a conversation w/your H you will lose something. He will gather that you're still there for him & relax.
I haven't read your entire thread, so I don't know if there's an OW. I can tell you that there are all the signs there is someone in the wings.
When I first came on here & someone suggested there was OW, I was convinced they were mistaken...they weren't.
That's why it's such an advantage to know what you're ealing with. Forgive me if you've covered this already.
My computer isn't working correctly, I can't see what I'm typing, so I'm not very thorough.
Sunny
As a side note, my H has been calling all day to "take" about our settlement agreement.
There is no reason I can think of to answer that call on New Years Eve.
I don't know how much you've been studying affairs (again, if he is having one), the good news is that those chemicals they're awash in don't last long typically. I think 6 months is the average.
Even if he doesn't seem interested in the kids now, that will probably change when some of the fog lifts also. I know it did in my case.
I hope I'm not making your evening worse, just trying to pass on what I wish I had done in the beginning. Kinda like we do with our kids I guess.
Try & put it all aside if you can for the evening & do something for yourself.
Thank you for the support you guys. I'll probably be here off and on. My girls are playing dolls, and yelling at their brother. S5 is furious that they won't play something he can play. He refuses to be Ken because "Ken doesn't transform or anything. You just hold him and talk. That's boring.
I'll feel better once I get over the guilt about not helping him. I feel so bad that he is struggling, but as my brother says...he didn't feel bad for you when he left.
I don't think he has an OW. Everything checks out, but I'm not with him 24/7. If he does, he won't for long. Only a crazy woman would put up with his childish behavior.
Sorry you’re having a bad day. We all know it’s a rough process, and that we’re all going through it, but sometimes that just doesn’t help.
I’m in the same boat. 23 years with W – first Christmas alone, first New Year’s Eve alone. But ya know what? The very fact that you’re standing up a soldiering through it makes you a winner. Don’t forget that!
H: 50 W: 48 Married 20 years Bomb and separation: 9/12/09 A discovered 12/02/09 http://tinyurl.com/yctnhec
I'll feel better once I get over the guilt about not helping him. I feel so bad that he is struggling, but as my brother says...he didn't feel bad for you when he left.
