OK, now that I've made the pita pizza and thrown it in the oven I have time to come back and bother you people again! I just wanted to clarify my point in my last post. I was always the poster boy for successful separations and I felt a sense of pride in hearing from others "how can you keep it together?" etc. I would always explain STBX's actions as "Hey, what she did was wrong, it hurt but my job is to pick up the pieces the best I can. I have to be there for my kids and therefore I've got to be as honourable and loving as I can be through this thing. I have to salvage whatever I can salvage for my family" I pushed to the back a lot of feelings. I went full speed into building myself a life, activities etc I was not gonna be a bowl of jelly on all sorts of pills like so many others I'd seen. I was gonna win! So now that the smoke has cleared, it's maybe time for me to allow that hurt to surface and be explored and that's what I pay the therapist big bucks for. This, of course, does not mean lashing out at anyone or being hurtful, just focusing a little more on ME and what I need for now. Anyway, I'm done now...gone...poof!
